I’ve been waking up since the 1st of the month with rushes of memories of 2011 and for some reason 2010. But not happy reflections, all memories of things I need to change.

Hindsight is 20/20 and everything seems painfully clear, and I wonder why I wasn’t really present. 

6%

I was worried about where I’d be now, and couldn’t appreciate certain people in my life. It’s annoying to know you can’t fix those things now.

What the f*ck is a future?

I woke up at 8 and it took me an hour to get back to sleep. My mother says I’m neurotic and dramatic, and that’s usually writers in general. I agree with her.

5%

I tell her I can be terribly mean to boys I love. Even my brother.

I feel like hitting delete on certain memories. I’ve deleted my Twitter, although I want it back lol. I thought of deleting my Facebook…and my tumblr, some posts too revealing and misunderstood…and revealing that love overlaps.

I wonder was I ever really there?

4%

Nothing is good without real love. Nothing.

And memories are quite hard to remember if you were never fully there.

3%

And somehow, I’m determined to fix it.