You know that moment in a movie where a person is having a freak out session? The one where the person looks to their left and sees something shocking or disgusting, and makes that STUNNED, horrified face (with the dramatic STUNNED music that just intensifies everything). And then the person looks to the right, and what’s happening over there is slightly worst and the camera pauses for another STUNNED, horrified face (with that dramatic stunned music). This time the person may or may not put their hands over their mouth, or cover their ears. And then the person looks in another direction, and BOOM, something else completely awful is there, and it repeats, until the person backs slowly into a corner, or completely runs away.

That just happened to me in the library. Everyone is eating and smacking their lips. And there is nothing I hate more, and each place I look it gets gradually worse. She’s eating crunchy granola. That guy’s eating subway. He’s chewing gum.

This is why we don’t eat in libraries. This is my horror movie.

End Scene. Like, please.